My coffee pot is cracked. All I could think about yesterday is my darn coffee pot is cracked. I've got enough coffee stock to be dubbed "Lil Colombia" but no pot. Sure I've got a fancy pansty coffee machine, but what's the sense without my beautiful Arabic blend - stained coffee pot? My super heroic son likely threw a bowl into the dishes at some point between eating and playing with his sister. More likely a combination of both, playing while eating. But kids shall be kids no? It makes me laugh to think, I found it funny then but now I'm slightly disappointed. I'll buy another one, sure but when I get tired of using my mother's brand new one. Blame my useless rambling on the flu shot. Took my first and perhaps my last this past Wednesday at work. Sneaky little bugger than vaccine is...I was fine for the first two days, but now I've got a slight ache and micro knot at the needle point. Or maybe I'm just exhausted because this past week has been so overwhelming. Luckily one of my favorite holidays is coming up and I've got two looooooooong checklists from two munchkins that have been pretty amazing academically and at home. They've earned their rewards, so I'll enjoy shopping online for their gifts. Aside from that, I look forward to my family' Christmas day tradition (I plan to take tons of pics that day, so I'll let the 'view' speak for itself). I've just finished my mug of hot chocolate (distractingly good substitute), and now I've got a few appointments to keep before I show up to tonight's annual church appreciation formal. I pray that you all reflected on the many ways in which you all are thankful and enjoyed your loved ones. Now prepare to remind yourselves of the reason for the upcoming season....

I didn't forget by the way. My coffee pot is cracked. *^_^*   But its okay.

Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

---Marianne Williams

My daughter has learned this poem because that's just her. She appreciates meaningful literature, poems...just the freedom to think. I encourage that. Always have always will. When I first gave her this poem to recite at an upcoming church formal I didn't truly understand the magnitude it would have on my own life. Keisha's deepest fears. That statement alone would have taken a year just to cover. And it did. Take a year.

So much has happened, that I never truly acknowledged a few of my own fears. Or faced them for that matter. I use to think I was a bit of a freak. My spirtual, inner being loves and fears God. My external, physical being is adored with tattoos and "particular" (to some) tastes in music. I've got two beautiful kids that I'd lay my life down for...and a family that marches to the beat of their own individual drums, but are ready to form a drumline at a moment's notice. I'm not rich. By far. I'm from the semi-hood with a Wall Street mentality. Funny that I work in the area now. I've felt heartache, tasted struggling, and rubbed adversity. I've done it all and then some.  The new years is turning in and with a new year comes guarantees that are right around the corner for me. A deep fear of growing...truly growing. Pruning and letting go. I've broken branches that I don't intend to water anymore. I've buried seeds that tried to grow within me... that would have beared horrible fruit. And I'm so much clearer for it. So much more sane. I'm me. My deepest fear has been being comfortable being Keisha, in my own skin. Going after what Keisha wants and desires. No more. I can't believe in you, if you don't believe in you enough. I can't believe in you to the point that I forget to believe in me. I'm thankful for everything that I've accomplished and will accomplish. But I'm thankful more for conquering my fears. My deepest ones. For letting go my fears.

For letting go...

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMI!!!

My, my, its been another year for my Princess!! She turned 9 yesterday and gave me another reason to check for graying hairs (just kidding...I have two absolutely fabu strands of silver already). Food, family, and fun. She knows how to enjoy herself and call the shots while doing it!! After a quick dinner at her favorite spot, where of course I shamelessly asked the staff to sing for her; followed by her death stare/humilation combo face; we hit the city streets. Raiding the Virgin megastore after 10pm, we returned home satisfied and a bit sleepy. Yes indeed, an amazing way to end a birthday. Full stomach, new jewelery, more new books, new dvds? A little over $100. Waking up to find your Princess curled up in a ball, reminiscent of when she was a newborn? Priceless....

Btw, my Prince turned 6 on the 30th of May but as requested of his royal detail, no pics or unauthorized people where allowed on the premises of his celebration venue. The paparazzi are willing to pay top dollar to anyone in possession of a rare insider' peek into his private life.

I really enjoyed leaning against a replica of an ancient tree found on Native American land. (Don't ask, cause I forgot the name of it) I kept thinking *If this were the real thing, judging by the moldly lookin spots, how many skin rashes would I develop?*  I kid you not, that is exactly what I was thinking when my princess caught this shot.